My Bones Hurt.

SO, I haven't written in a few days. Since the last time I wrote, I've learned the basics of how to samba, attended service at an 'evangelical megachurch', celebrated mom's day and b-day, had a fully embarrassing couple of nights, miserably lost a pub quiz with the help of fellow PhD & MD candidates (grad students have better things to think about I guess), met the 15 yr old girl I'll be mentoring for the next 2 years (over an $8 bowl of ice cream from maggie moo's. expensive!!), chatted with a member of the DC council about how Brown is just as cool of a school as MIT, and decided I want to spend some time in Africa (or France? or Cali... not a decisive decision, perhaps) after graduation.

I missed the opportunity to talk about all of those in depth - but there is one specific thing that's been constant over the last 12 days. The pain in my back! In a post to come I'll explain more, but on a particularly boring day at work a co-worker and I decided we'd like to participate in the 2008 DC dragonboat festival. We convinced 24 other unsuspecting novices to sign waivers and agree to jump into a 3 ton boat with us to paddle our way through a series of 500 and 250m races two weeks from now. We've had three practices since April 27th. I've become increasingly immobile since April 27th. I think the one-sided paddling has aggravated an old injury that previously went untreated (dislocated shoulder - the result of falling down a flight of wooden stairs while attempting to sing the Ukrainian national anthem during the 2004 Summer Olympics shot put awards ceremony).

Well, now when I move my right arm or shoulder it hurts, and I can't comfortably look down without tilting my whole body. I also noticed that I can no longer touch my feet to the floor over my head when I'm laying on my back - but since that's not really a motion necessary for getting through the day, I'm guessing I can't justifiably complain about that...! Anyway - the worst part is getting out of bed in the morning. I have to "warm-up" and stretch to get up!

My insurance company doesn't pay for chiropractic visits, so I started trying alternative (free) solutions. 1st - I relegated myself to sleeping on the floor tucked behind my bedroom door [below] instead of on the bed on which I spent multiple paychecks to make comfortable [above]. 2nd - I implemented a daily 'feet behind the head' test to mark any improvements the change in sleeping arrangements might have made.

I have consequently found that my $100 floor cushion is more beneficial to the health of my back and is maybe (just maybe) just as comfortable as my bed as well. This is quite discouraging news. So discouraging, in fact, that I've gone back to sleeping in my bed, feigning that the cushion was not the victor. I wake up with a sore back in the morning and look over at the cushion and get mad! I can't sleep tucked away in a corner every night when I've got a big expensive bed taking up half the space in my room!

So, I'm going to ignore these results and just try to sleep this one off (the way I did that shoulder in '04). It may take awhile, but I don't think I can be in pain forever!

[if you're a chiropractor and disagree with that last statement - do you ever have sales??]

Filler

I'm not going to do a real post today - it's raining outside. Nothing really happens on rainy days. I do have a really good way to pass (a lot of) time on a rainy day, though:

My Favorite Song Remixed 2253 Different Ways (and counting)!

I've got a favorite Song & Artist in every one of my personal music genres, and Radiohead is the overall winner in the "Boring Music: Male Vocals" category as they are both my all-time favorite artists in the genre and have had the favorite song title tied up since last Fall with Nude.

Next rainy day, I'll sort out the current frontrunners in my most recently created genre: "This Music Somehow Makes Me Want To Do Drugs Even Though I Never Have And Don't Plan To." I originally created this group specifically for Jimi Hendrix, but it's been growing (Nine Inch Nails, Amy Winehouse, house music, anything from the 70's...) pretty competitive.

Turpentine

"Its vapor can burn the skin and eyes, damage the lungs and respiratory system, as well as the central nervous system when inhaled ... can cause renal failure, among other things."
- Wikipedia

Among other things?!

I came up with the great idea last month that I would personally build or create all decorations for my apartment from now on 'cause I was frustrated with not ever being able to find exactly what I was looking for in stores. I planned to give myself a 2-month trial period to make sure I didn't unknowingly relegate myself to living in a room that resembled a toddler's who was allowed to paint his own walls.

I started that trial period this past weekend, and I think I passed the first test! I like to represent. Yeah, I think I'm a pretty good representer, so I wanted to find canvas paintings of three flags to hang up somewhere in my apartment (MD, DC, USA). I never saw anything I liked so I decided to make "learning how to paint with oils (on canvas)" my 1st project. I would've started with the American flag because I'm a very big fan of the states [and the very manly men who defend it*], and then ideally would have painted the Maryland flag next because it's the best state in the union and I spent 18+ years of my life there. I decided to go with DC first, though 'cause I figured my current artistic talent would only get me maybe 3 stars and a couple stripes into a painting before it expired in some tragic & irreversible way.

I did pretty well! [see above...] The only issue was that I chose turpentine as my paint thinner and failed to read the warning above until today. I read this warning today because I thought it was strange that 1) the small and unventilated room in which i sleep (and now paint, i guess) still smells like Turpentine himself has moved in and set up permanent shop, and 2) after sleeping in that room two nights in a row, I have a dull headache I can't get rid of. It only recently dawned on me that the two could be connected & now I'm just thankful I didn't end up on Reuters: Oddly Enough in a story about a girl who turpentined herself to death in an effort to honor the capital of her great nation.

I may have jumped the gun and tried to awaken my artistic side a little too quickly. For a math major, data analyst and scientific researcher, random acts of creativity can be deadly.

*I am also a fan of the women who defend this country, be they manly or not.

Girl for Sale: $20

(I'm a little behind, I know. I'll probably post a couple in a row --- I had a break from school last week which gave me the rare opportunity to waste a large amount of time. I took advantage.)

I found out today that for $20 I will do just about anything.

To give you some background, I "moved" last week from my original room in our 2-bed apartment to the BIGGER room (moving up in the world). Before I could move anything into the room or begin using my new bathroom, I had to sanitize the entire space. In fact, I spent 5 straight hours cleaning every inch of the new space. Just to put it out there - my obsession has nothing to do with the previous owner! The roommate was quite clean and left the room in really good condition - I'm just a severe germophobe at times - especially when it comes to bathrooms. I rarely use public bathrooms - and when I do, I take every precaution to come in contact with the least amount of surfaces as possible. I don't even use the public bathroom that is right outside of my office. I usually opt to walk either to the next building over or trek up to the third floor 'cause those are slightly cleaner.

Well, today I decided to use the gross (and grossly overused) bathroom outside of my office because I was too sore (another story) and too lazy to extend my trip past a 100 meter radius.

Needless to say, as i was reaching to flush the toilet with my foot (who would ever touch those things with their hands?!), my work ID card fell in and sunk to the bottom of the bowl. I need my ID to get back into my office, and I had just replaced the one I lost last month to the tune of a $20 replacement fee. I stared at my ID for a good 2 minutes contemplating my options and decided it wasn't worth it. If I couldn't bring myself to touch the outside of the toilet to flush it - how could i ever submerge my entire hand into it to save a piece of plastic? I flushed.

I watched it go down and turned to go wash my hands. After washing and drying my hands I decided to go back and look to see if it had caused any problems (i'm not sure if you're supposed to flush IDs). Of course it had re-appeared to taunt me. This story grosses me out so I'm cutting it short, but, in accordance with the title of this post I obviously ended up fishing around in the public toilet to retrieve my card. It was inevitable that I would be forced to become intimate with the interior contents of the one toilet I've managed to avoid for three years out of sheer disgust.

I think I took my money-saving practices too far this afternoon.

FOX News (a not so funny post!)

[redacted]

I got in trouble for that one!! And moved the "friendly discussion" to email to avoid turning the soapbox into a forum for the least entertaining type of conversation - political debate (specifically between Girl and MJP - although we still like each other after such scenarios, I'm pretty positive no one else will)!

In other news: What I said about Tila Tequila in that post was wrong. I am sure she has views and opinions that matter like everyone else. I wish her the best of luck finding true love this season!

~Girl

Curing A Vice

Over the past few weeks I've realized that I spend way too much time analyzing the appropriateness of daily events in my life in order to determine if I really want to put them on here for all to see. While that in itself may very well be a sign that I need to make some serious lifestyle changes, I'm going to go ahead and ignore that warning and blame this dilemma on one of my most entertaining pastimes: Hating.

If you know me - you know that I am probably one of the most optimistic and generally happy people you'll ever meet. I have a smile on my face about 95% of the time, and you have to be an exceptionally detestable person to really get on my bad side. I am, however, a recreational hater. It's always been a hobby of mine, and my stint last year working 4 nights a week at a hipster-esque bar in downtown DC helped solidify my status as a card-carrying member of the Haters Club (in my official gear, above). The thing that's different about my joking, though, is that I really just do it in good fun, and I'm actually best at making fun of myself -- I just have a feeling that if I followed my tendencies and blogged the hate, people would get the wrong idea.

I mean, I seem to continually put myself in ridiculous situations, so I could very well fill this entire blog with stories about said ridiculousness - but I just naturally find myself wanting to write about, for example, the guy walking behind me on campus today who (in a fledgling attempt to woo a fellow doctoral candidate) somehow managed to utter the words bathos and polyglot in the same sentence. I'm not even gonna touch that, but please know that if listening to you talk makes me question the grasp I have of my native language: that is grounds for hating (brits, customer service representatives & people from Lynchburg, South Carolina - take note).

Anyway - I really don't want this page to bring any negativity to anyone's day - and since I'm probably the only reader, i might as well not bring any negativity to mine! So, I'm banking on this whole 'not blogging the hate' thing to help cure me of my joking ways. Instead of going through the day noticing too-tight pants and weaves gone wrong, maybe I'll start to look for more positive, light and entertaining things to observe and provide commentary on.

We'll see how it goes. This weekend should be a good test as I have engagements in venues that are normally rich with prime hater material (a hip dive bar, a swanky new lounge/club, an adult kickball game...). I, however, will focus on the positive and report back.

Weening Myself Off the Haterade (sp?!),
Girl

UPDATE: Between losing my 4th phone in almost as many weeks, slamming my head against taxi doors, and trying to stay afloat while paddling along the Anacostia (ew!) - I was left with no time to worry about other people's issues!! Progress.

I'm a bad pick-up line receiver

I don't think I necessarily get more than the average person, but I'm such an awkward receiver that it often times ends up quite a memorable affair. I used to just play along and smile and either keep walking or start walking. I found that 9.5 times out of 10 that would lead to me being followed and/or accosted for the remainder of my time within 800 meters of the pick-up artist. SO, to cut down on temporary stalkers, I decided I would just be my normal self (which i suppose is awkward!) Anyway - I seem to be a magnet for creative lines. I don't know if that's a good or bad sign. I got a particularly flattering line this morning [1st one below], and it inspired me to start keeping a record of any amusing exchanges I come across in the next few months... The 2nd and third ones are oldies but goodies.
No Commentary, Just a List!

Guy in front of metro: Hey Hey!
Me: -----
G: Hey Hey Hey Hey HEY!!
Me: yeah?!
G: Are you mixed?
Me: Huh?
G: Like, are you mixed? Are your parents mixed?
Me: Oh, like half white or something?
G: Yeah, yeah.
Me: No
G: Oh, 'cause you're so beautiful, it looks like you could be.
Me: Ohhh.... hmm

Homeless looking guy shaking cup for change on the corner while i'm waiting to cross the street: AY SHORTAY!!
Me: [laugh]
Guy: AY SHORTAY!! I KNOW you hear me. Come over here.
Me: [more laughing]
Guy: I SAID come over here!
Me: What?! Why don't you come over here?!
Guy: Damn. I'm busy, mama.
[eventually comes over (...assuming his busy schedule cleared up)]
Guy: I just wanted to tell you somethin'.
Moi: What's that?
Guy: I'm not really homeless - I just do this on the side for extra cash

The old guy at the bar: Hey sweetie.
Girl, who is trapped next to him because of space constraints: Hi
Old: Are you a model?
Me: No
Guy: You should be.
Me: -----
Old: Heh, well, I can take some pictures of you later on tonight if you want...
Me: [leaves premises]