the soapbox

The 1st LT Returns!

2009-02-24T21:36:00.003-05:00

So I'm conflicted on what I should do with my blog now [besides the obvious "...maybe you should start by posting more than once a season"]. The whole premise was to document the silly stories I usually only subject my S.O. to, so that while he was gone (and I couldn't contact him), we could stay in touch in a lighthearted way.

Well... He came back! He was deployed until Late October last year, and since he's been back - we've returned to verbal communication :)

I really liked writing the blog, though, and it was a really good way to look busy at work those mornings when it took me a little longer than usual to function at a mildly productive level. It's also a great procrastination tool (i.e. I have a 12-page final thesis I'm supposed to be working on AS WE SPEAK!). My short-lived blogging career truly did serve a lot of purposes - and I think I will jump back into it this year!

I'll refrain from a 2nd recap post in a row [especially since I'm historically boring during the winter months], and I'll commence posting ridiculousness as it [inevitably] ensues.

I will end this post in a disclaimer, though... the recent news between the 1st Lt and I will have no effect on my writing style (i.e. I won't start talking about weekends at home depot or monogrammed china sets. Hopefully.

Recap

2008-09-07T21:41:00.002-04:00

Whew!

Well, it's been 60 days since my last update, so I will try to re-cap the highlights before I get back into live-action reporting next week:

* dominated a laser tag game

* watched 4th of july fireworks over the capitol

* played in a soccer tournament in 100 degree heat

* got sidelined due to cramping/dehydration in said tournament

* lost a toenail due to participation in tournament

* lost significant sleep watching olympic trials

* lost significant sleep watching coverage of the olympics

* finished year 1 of graduate school

* started year 2 of graduate school

* turned 25!

* got visits from superb out of town friends

* went tubing in West Virginia

* fine-tuned wakeboarding skills/learned how to slalom

* got dragged by rip tides in North Carolina

* visited all 5 boroughs in NYC

* checked out real estate in Connecticut

* ran along the Charles River in Boston

* tried new indian food in Providence

* got a new bike!

* became addicted to my new iPhone

* went salsa dancing

* got a new roommate

* attended an awesome concert

* got stranded on the side of a major highway

* changed my hairstyle twice

* attended an arabic class

* hosted a slumber party

* picked & ate a fig

*defragmented my harddrive

* enrolled in a programming course

there it is!

everything i could remember on the fly...

returning to form on Monday :)

Girl the Olympian

2008-06-26T15:09:00.008-04:00

It's been TWO whole weeks since I last posted! I don't really have an excuse. I would like to say it's been because I've been busy doing more important things than keeping my readership (N=3) abreast of my daily activities, but misleading journalism is unethical, indeed.

There has been one theme that's defined the last two weeks of my life, though: a feeling of Physical Inadequacy

While some people call it delusional thinking - I call it the Mindset of Champions! It's the voice in the back of your head that convinces you while you sit on your couch watching Tiger Woods win the US Open, Boston win the NBA Finals and some 5'2" girl land a twisting back flip on a balance beam @ the Olympic trials that -- "HEY!! You can do that!"

Yeah. What can I say. I'm a natural born ~~delusional thinker~~ champion.

Well, the past two weeks have been complete sensory overload for people like me. In addition to the aforementioned sporting occurrences - the Euro Cup soccer tournament is in its final stages, Wimbledon started a couple days ago, and worst of all: The US Track & Field Olympic Trials start this weekend. What makes the trials so bad is that I've actually competed against and with a large portion of the people who I'll be watching on TV (including my best friend!!!). As if I needed any more convincing that I am not living up to my sporting potential!

We're still about a month away from the Olympic Games, but I am being cautious & taking measures to prevent myself from spiraling into a deep depression, as the last two weeks have been only a taste of what's to come in August. Preparation has been as follows:

1) 3 hour stint in Sports Authority. Everyone knows that in order to be a world class athlete, you have to have the gear. In my case - I spent two hours trying on sporty clothes to see if I could at least look like a world class athlete if I were in fact able to afford said sporty clothes. Left the store with running socks, soccer socks, basketball shorts, power bars and soccer cleats. These will all aid in my rise to athletic greatness.

2) Play a recreational game of capture the flag. This was important. I had to test my skills. If I couldn't outrun the average 24 year old human being - there's no way I could compete in any sport on a national/international level. Although my team lost - I had one very successful jail run (i.e. freed our people from jail AND made it back to our side without getting tagged). Mission Accomplished.

3) Join a team. Organized sports provide much needed structure. I needed somewhere to wear my new cleats - so I joined a soccer team. I played my 1st game with them Sunday and was more help than hindrance! Check out the evidence: http://golerosteam.blogspot.com/2008/06/shootout.html

4) Conditioning. So, as a former track athlete, I have some sense of how to get into good running shape. I've thrown that sense out the window - as I need to be in top shape by August so I can blow off steam after watching others go for Olympic Gold. I plan to do this by running long distances at respectable speeds after particularly inspiring performances. Just finished my 2nd week of running between 4-6 miles a day. We'll see if I can walk come August.

5) Long Term Goals. Signed up to run a 190 mile relay race [split between 12 people] in September. That sounds healthy.

With all these precautions in place, I think I may be able to watch the Olympic Games in August. Last Summer Olympics I dislocated my shoulder in an expression of sheer excitement over the Games (that ended with me tumbling down a flight of stairs). SO - here's to hoping I can keep my cool this year!

Lightning

2008-06-10T20:31:00.004-04:00

Lightning has struck within 50 meters of me twice within the last two weeks. Today's episode was a little more noteworthy though 'cause 1) it was closer, and 2) it was silly! I'm guessing that by the end of this summer, I'll have a keener sense of nature since I'll be traversing the city, MD and VA for the next three months in the elements without a car. So far, however, I think I've been stranded outside and improperly equipped during every thunderstorm and heat wave we've had since giving my car away.

I was actually doing better than normal today. About 30 minutes before the 1st raindrop fell, I could tell the weather was changing and started to make my way back home. 20 minutes before the rain I was on a shuttle from Georgetown to Dupont Circle and heard thunder. I was all excited because I managed to "predict" the arrival of the storm and it sounded like it was far away - so I managed to beat it!

5 minutes before the rain I was about half a mile from my apartment and it was pretty clear the storm was closer than I thought. The thunder was loud, but the sky still looked clear. Then out of nowhere, the most ridiculous thing happened! I had just crossed an intersection & the guy who was walking in front of me had just started to walk under a tree on the corner. All the sudden the entire sky was bright white and noise was everywhere (i dunno how else to explain it!! it was the loudest noise ever, but the origin was undetectable) . I think everyone was just startled and confused 'cause all the people in the area stopped walking and looked in my direction, and then a huge branch from the tree in front of me fell and almost hit the guy that was in front of me. Car alarms went off - the traffic lights we had just passed went out - people started running - and it started pouring!

It was actually pretty cool. The noise was the best part. I'm not gonna pretend like I wasn't scared though, 'cause I had my running shoes on and ran the fastest 800 meters I think I've ever clocked. If only the start of races at track meets were signaled with an uncomfortably close crash of lightning... I coulda been a contender!

Anyway - when lightning strikes your general vicinity twice, it's a sign. [That is a saying, right?!] I've got a final exam tomorrow that I don't feel like studying for. So, I'm taking it as a signal from above that I'll be fine and should spend tonight mentally preparing by relaxing to a movie to instead of hitting the books.

I know how to take hints.

UPDATE: Got an "A" on that final and subsequently the class... Lightning is great.

An XXX-treme Experiment!

2008-06-03T11:07:00.028-04:00

While in Boston over Memorial Day Weekend, my Brother and I took a day trip down to Brown to partake in an hour or two of commencement activities. Providence, RI may not have a lot of things going for it, but after 3 years removed - I still wake up some nights craving the food the city offers! On our walk down Thayer Street (think a way smaller, more providence-y version of Harvard Square for you Bostonites or M Street for the DC folks), I made it a point to pick up a sample of all my old favorites (and then eat them on the spot). So, for dinner that night I consumed a plate-sized Meeting Street chocolate chip cookie, an apple and brown sugar crepe, a bite of Antonio's pizza and hot apple cider. It was only because I was way overstuffed that I didn't stop in to say hey to the workers at my favorite Indian restaurant and get a huge piece of the best naan in the world. On the ride back to Boston I pondered the nutritional value of the "meal" I had pieced together... I came to the very optimistic conclusion that I'm normally a pretty healthy eater, so one night of extreme carb/sugar overload was not only excused - it was necessary! I then made the unfortunate mistake of paying attention to what I ate/drank over the next 24 hours (pancakes, fruit, pasta, bread, pizza, popeye's biscuit, cannoli, water, Blue Moon!) in a failed effort to validate my justification.

Well, to my knowledge I'm not training for a marathon, nor am I an 8 year old kid with free reign of the kitchen for a day. I'm pretty sure those would be the only two excuses for my diet to consist almost solely of empty carbs and sugar (and beer?). Now, I'm not usually quite that bad - but carbohydrates, sugar and I have a very strong, complicated long-term relationship going.

Earlier this morning, I read the following two tidbits about low-carb diets:

* During the late 1990s and early 2000s low-carbohydrate diets became some of the most popular diets in the U.S. These were, in fact, noted by some food manufacturers and restaurant chains as substantially affecting their businesses (notably Krispy Kreme).

* A recent study from Stanford University ('07) comparing Atkins (low-carb), Zone (moderately low-carb), LEARN (low in fat and high in carbohydrates), and Ornish (very high in carbohydrates and extremely low in fat) diets found that "of the more than 300 women in the study, those randomly assigned to follow the Atkins diet for a year not only lost more weight than the other participants, but also experienced the most benefits in terms of cholesterol and blood pressure."

Now, as clearly demonstrated through the picture above, any enemy of Krispy Kreme is an enemy of mine. And, sure, the diet seems to have some benefits for the average American woman. BUT! What would happen if a chronic carb-o-holic like myself were to go on one of these no/low carb diets? Would I go through withdrawal symptoms? Would I starve to death?? [the only dishes I know how to cook are pasta, pancakes, oatmeal and microwave popcorn] Does the grocery store even sell anything but flour-based products?? Would it be the breakthrough I need as a Tour de France hopeful? * see below Well, I really just want to see if I'll feel any different. With my experimental history, though (which includes such backfires as the infamous "wooden rake to the face" incident) I'll probably slip into some sort of carb-deprived coma. The 1st of it's kind.

I don't really care what any studies say - I'm pretty sure carbs are a vital source of energy, especially if you're physically active. So, I'm only willing to stretch my experiment over a month's time (from ~~today~~ tomorrow til July 3rd). I'll do my best to stick to it, and report back with results/cooking mishaps along the way.

UPDATE: I made it one day, but was so carb-deprived I made blueberry pancakes the next morning. Conclusion: Stanford researchers are not to be trusted.

In other news: The Dragonboat Festival went well this weekend (check us out in our team's video!).

My Bones Hurt.

2008-05-19T14:41:00.006-04:00

SO, I haven't written in a few days. Since the last time I wrote, I've learned the basics of how to samba, attended service at an 'evangelical megachurch', celebrated mom's day and b-day, had a fully embarrassing couple of nights, miserably lost a pub quiz with the help of fellow PhD & MD candidates (grad students have better things to think about I guess), met the 15 yr old girl I'll be mentoring for the next 2 years (over an $8 bowl of ice cream from maggie moo's. expensive!!), chatted with a member of the DC council about how Brown is just as cool of a school as MIT, and decided I want to spend some time in Africa (or France? or Cali... not a decisive decision, perhaps) after graduation.

I missed the opportunity to talk about all of those in depth - but there is one specific thing that's been constant over the last 12 days. The pain in my back! In a post to come I'll explain more, but on a particularly boring day at work a co-worker and I decided we'd like to participate in the 2008 DC dragonboat festival. We convinced 24 other unsuspecting novices to sign waivers and agree to jump into a 3 ton boat with us to paddle our way through a series of 500 and 250m races two weeks from now. We've had three practices since April 27th. I've become increasingly immobile since April 27th. I think the one-sided paddling has aggravated an old injury that previously went untreated (dislocated shoulder - the result of falling down a flight of wooden stairs while attempting to sing the Ukrainian national anthem during the 2004 Summer Olympics shot put awards ceremony).

Well, now when I move my right arm or shoulder it hurts, and I can't comfortably look down without tilting my whole body. I also noticed that I can no longer touch my feet to the floor over my head when I'm laying on my back - but since that's not really a motion necessary for getting through the day, I'm guessing I can't justifiably complain about that...! Anyway - the worst part is getting out of bed in the morning. I have to "warm-up" and stretch to get up!

My insurance company doesn't pay for chiropractic visits, so I started trying alternative (free) solutions. 1st - I relegated myself to sleeping on the floor tucked behind my bedroom door [below] instead of on the bed on which I spent multiple paychecks to make comfortable [above]. 2nd - I implemented a daily 'feet behind the head' test to mark any improvements the change in sleeping arrangements might have made.

I have consequently found that my $100 floor cushion is more beneficial to the health of my back and is maybe (just maybe) just as comfortable as my bed as well. This is quite discouraging news. So discouraging, in fact, that I've gone back to sleeping in my bed, feigning that the cushion was not the victor. I wake up with a sore back in the morning and look over at the cushion and get mad! I can't sleep tucked away in a corner every night when I've got a big expensive bed taking up half the space in my room!

So, I'm going to ignore these results and just try to sleep this one off (the way I did that shoulder in '04). It may take awhile, but I don't think I can be in pain forever!

[if you're a chiropractor and disagree with that last statement - do you ever have sales??]

Filler

2008-05-08T15:59:00.007-04:00

I'm not going to do a real post today - it's raining outside. Nothing really happens on rainy days. I do have a really good way to pass (a lot of) time on a rainy day, though:

My Favorite Song Remixed 2253 Different Ways (and counting)!

I've got a favorite Song & Artist in every one of my personal music genres, and Radiohead is the overall winner in the "Boring Music: Male Vocals" category as they are both my all-time favorite artists in the genre and have had the favorite song title tied up since last Fall with Nude.

Next rainy day, I'll sort out the current frontrunners in my most recently created genre: "This Music Somehow Makes Me Want To Do Drugs Even Though I Never Have And Don't Plan To." I originally created this group specifically for Jimi Hendrix, but it's been growing (Nine Inch Nails, Amy Winehouse, house music, anything from the 70's...) pretty competitive.

Turpentine

2008-05-06T14:36:00.009-04:00

"Its vapor can burn the skin and eyes, damage the lungs and respiratory system, as well as the central nervous system when inhaled ... can cause renal failure, among other things."
- Wikipedia

Among other things?!

I came up with the great idea last month that I would personally build or create all decorations for my apartment from now on 'cause I was frustrated with not ever being able to find exactly what I was looking for in stores. I planned to give myself a 2-month trial period to make sure I didn't unknowingly relegate myself to living in a room that resembled a toddler's who was allowed to paint his own walls.

I started that trial period this past weekend, and I think I passed the first test! I like to represent. Yeah, I think I'm a pretty good representer, so I wanted to find canvas paintings of three flags to hang up somewhere in my apartment (MD, DC, USA). I never saw anything I liked so I decided to make "learning how to paint with oils (on canvas)" my 1st project. I would've started with the American flag because I'm a very big fan of the states [and the very manly men who defend it*], and then ideally would have painted the Maryland flag next because it's the best state in the union and I spent 18+ years of my life there. I decided to go with DC first, though 'cause I figured my current artistic talent would only get me maybe 3 stars and a couple stripes into a painting before it expired in some tragic & irreversible way.

I did pretty well! [see above...] The only issue was that I chose turpentine as my paint thinner and failed to read the warning above until today. I read this warning today because I thought it was strange that 1) the small and unventilated room in which i sleep (and now paint, i guess) still smells like Turpentine himself has moved in and set up permanent shop, and 2) after sleeping in that room two nights in a row, I have a dull headache I can't get rid of. It only recently dawned on me that the two could be connected & now I'm just thankful I didn't end up on Reuters: Oddly Enough in a story about a girl who turpentined herself to death in an effort to honor the capital of her great nation.

I may have jumped the gun and tried to awaken my artistic side a little too quickly. For a math major, data analyst and scientific researcher, random acts of creativity can be deadly.

*I am also a fan of the women who defend this country, be they manly or not.

Girl for Sale: $20

2008-05-05T15:53:00.004-04:00

(I'm a little behind, I know. I'll probably post a couple in a row --- I had a break from school last week which gave me the rare opportunity to waste a large amount of time. I took advantage.)

I found out today that for $20 I will do just about anything.

To give you some background, I "moved" last week from my original room in our 2-bed apartment to the BIGGER room (moving up in the world). Before I could move anything into the room or begin using my new bathroom, I had to sanitize the entire space. In fact, I spent 5 straight hours cleaning every inch of the new space. Just to put it out there - my obsession has nothing to do with the previous owner! The roommate was quite clean and left the room in really good condition - I'm just a severe germophobe at times - especially when it comes to bathrooms. I rarely use public bathrooms - and when I do, I take every precaution to come in contact with the least amount of surfaces as possible. I don't even use the public bathroom that is right outside of my office. I usually opt to walk either to the next building over or trek up to the third floor 'cause those are slightly cleaner.

Well, today I decided to use the gross (and grossly overused) bathroom outside of my office because I was too sore (another story) and too lazy to extend my trip past a 100 meter radius.

Needless to say, as i was reaching to flush the toilet with my foot (who would ever touch those things with their hands?!), my work ID card fell in and sunk to the bottom of the bowl. I need my ID to get back into my office, and I had just replaced the one I lost last month to the tune of a $20 replacement fee. I stared at my ID for a good 2 minutes contemplating my options and decided it wasn't worth it. If I couldn't bring myself to touch the outside of the toilet to flush it - how could i ever submerge my entire hand into it to save a piece of plastic? I flushed.

I watched it go down and turned to go wash my hands. After washing and drying my hands I decided to go back and look to see if it had caused any problems (i'm not sure if you're supposed to flush IDs). Of course it had re-appeared to taunt me. This story grosses me out so I'm cutting it short, but, in accordance with the title of this post I obviously ended up fishing around in the public toilet to retrieve my card. It was inevitable that I would be forced to become intimate with the interior contents of the one toilet I've managed to avoid for three years out of sheer disgust.

I think I took my money-saving practices too far this afternoon.

FOX News (a not so funny post!)

2008-04-27T21:03:00.014-04:00

[redacted]

I got in trouble for that one!! And moved the "friendly discussion" to email to avoid turning the soapbox into a forum for the least entertaining type of conversation - political debate (specifically between Girl and MJP - although we still like each other after such scenarios, I'm pretty positive no one else will)!

In other news: What I said about Tila Tequila in that post was wrong. I am sure she has views and opinions that matter like everyone else. I wish her the best of luck finding true love this season!

~Girl

Curing A Vice

2008-04-24T18:45:00.013-04:00

Over the past few weeks I've realized that I spend way too much time analyzing the appropriateness of daily events in my life in order to determine if I really want to put them on here for all to see. While that in itself may very well be a sign that I need to make some serious lifestyle changes, I'm going to go ahead and ignore that warning and blame this dilemma on one of my most entertaining pastimes: Hating.

If you know me - you know that I am probably one of the most optimistic and generally happy people you'll ever meet. I have a smile on my face about 95% of the time, and you have to be an exceptionally detestable person to really get on my bad side. I am, however, a recreational hater. It's always been a hobby of mine, and my stint last year working 4 nights a week at a hipster-esque bar in downtown DC helped solidify my status as a card-carrying member of the Haters Club (in my official gear, above). The thing that's different about my joking, though, is that I really just do it in good fun, and I'm actually best at making fun of myself -- I just have a feeling that if I followed my tendencies and blogged the hate, people would get the wrong idea.

I mean, I seem to continually put myself in ridiculous situations, so I could very well fill this entire blog with stories about said ridiculousness - but I just naturally find myself wanting to write about, for example, the guy walking behind me on campus today who (in a fledgling attempt to woo a fellow doctoral candidate) somehow managed to utter the words bathos and polyglot in the same sentence. I'm not even gonna touch that, but please know that if listening to you talk makes me question the grasp I have of my native language: that is grounds for hating (brits, customer service representatives & people from Lynchburg, South Carolina - take note).

Anyway - I really don't want this page to bring any negativity to anyone's day - and since I'm probably the only reader, i might as well not bring any negativity to mine! So, I'm banking on this whole 'not blogging the hate' thing to help cure me of my joking ways. Instead of going through the day noticing too-tight pants and weaves gone wrong, maybe I'll start to look for more positive, light and entertaining things to observe and provide commentary on.

We'll see how it goes. This weekend should be a good test as I have engagements in venues that are normally rich with prime hater material (a hip dive bar, a swanky new lounge/club, an adult kickball game...). I, however, will focus on the positive and report back.

Weening Myself Off the Haterade (sp?!),
Girl

UPDATE: Between losing my 4th phone in almost as many weeks, slamming my head against taxi doors, and trying to stay afloat while paddling along the Anacostia (ew!) - I was left with no time to worry about other people's issues!! Progress.

I'm a bad pick-up line receiver

2008-04-22T08:49:00.009-04:00

I don't think I necessarily get more than the average person, but I'm such an awkward receiver that it often times ends up quite a memorable affair. I used to just play along and smile and either keep walking or start walking. I found that 9.5 times out of 10 that would lead to me being followed and/or accosted for the remainder of my time within 800 meters of the pick-up artist. SO, to cut down on temporary stalkers, I decided I would just be my normal self (which i suppose is awkward!) Anyway - I seem to be a magnet for creative lines. I don't know if that's a good or bad sign. I got a particularly flattering line this morning [1st one below], and it inspired me to start keeping a record of any amusing exchanges I come across in the next few months... The 2nd and third ones are oldies but goodies.
No Commentary, Just a List!

Guy in front of metro: Hey Hey!
Me: -----
G: Hey Hey Hey Hey HEY!!
Me: yeah?!
G: Are you mixed?
Me: Huh?
G: Like, are you mixed? Are your parents mixed?
Me: Oh, like half white or something?
G: Yeah, yeah.
Me: No
G: Oh, 'cause you're so beautiful, it looks like you could be.
Me: Ohhh.... hmm

Homeless looking guy shaking cup for change on the corner while i'm waiting to cross the street: AY SHORTAY!!
Me: [laugh]
Guy: AY SHORTAY!! I KNOW you hear me. Come over here.
Me: [more laughing]
Guy: I SAID come over here!
Me: What?! Why don't you come over here?!
Guy: Damn. I'm busy, mama.
[eventually comes over (...assuming his busy schedule cleared up)]
Guy: I just wanted to tell you somethin'.
Moi: What's that?
Guy: I'm not really homeless - I just do this on the side for extra cash

The old guy at the bar: Hey sweetie.
Girl, who is trapped next to him because of space constraints: Hi
Old: Are you a model?
Me: No
Guy: You should be.
Me: -----
Old: Heh, well, I can take some pictures of you later on tonight if you want...
Me: [leaves premises]

Rain-X : A 10 Month Case Study

2008-04-20T15:19:00.009-04:00

After ten months of extensive research, I finally drew my conclusions on the performance of Rain-X. Not Good (if you plan to drive in the rain).

After I sell my car in a month, my arsenal of ridiculous stories will most likely decrease by 50%. That's one of the perks of having a German engineered car that was for some reason built in Mexico (where I can only assume some major engineering concepts were lost in translation)! Given this decrease in material, I'll try to get as many car stories in as possible :)

My windshield wiper motor died at some point last year, and instead of replacing the motor (logical), I decided to rely exclusively on Rain-X to get me through any downpours I may traverse in the future (economical (cheap!)). It had been doing alright - as long as I applied it regularly and drove as fast as possible in the rain so that it would whisk off instead of just sit on the windshield in beads. I was okay with that.

This morning, however, DC encountered a rare tropical-style downpour that lasted from the second I left MD to the second I pulled up to my apartment. I hadn't reapplied my Rain-X recently and was unaware that after 3 months or so of wear, Rain-X gets old and turns into something like the equivalent of smeared vaseline across the windshield in the event it should get too wet. I thought that was a strange quality for such a product, but it was even stranger that the vaseline-ness of it intensified only while moving forward (i.e. I could see enough to drive when I was stopped at a stop sign, but as soon as I started moving forward, I might as well have been blind). That picture up there is misleading - as they should have a 3rd window labeled "treated but wearing off" that displays something similar to THIS.

To make a long story short, I made it home and safely avoided the 16 car pile-up which - given the conditions - any other unsuspecting driver would have surely miraculously managed to cause on the 15 mph speed limit empty neighborhood streets I took home...

I'll get my windshield wipers fixed this week.

UPDATE: Apparently tornadoes touched down where and when I was driving. Maybe it wasn't all Rain-X's fault...

Ouch!!

2008-04-19T11:42:00.009-04:00

I went to a DC United game yesterday with Mr. B and his girl, the roommate and her friend. Before everyone else showed up, the roommate and I were hanging out in our seats before the game & they started kicking balls into the stands for the fans. I stood up and waved my hands - and that apparently is the signal for punt an overly filled soccer ball from 50 feet away directly into my face, please. For that is exactly what happened. I'm not trained in catching things that are flying towards me that fast - so I stretched my arms out in front of me as if i was catching a soft fly ball in right field. That didn't work. The soccer ball hit me square in the face and damn near knocked me out.

As I was trying to gather my senses, some guy in front of me picked up the ball from my feet and started waving it around as if it was his! Everyone protested, as I clearly deserved at least a ball for the swollen lip and (what i now think is a) slightly broken nose. He agreed to thumb wrestle me for it and proceeded to be way too competitive about it, so I just told him he could have the stupid thing.

It was kind of a funny situation. Until I realized the next day that I had really done some kind of damage to my nose. It's super sore, and there appears to be some sort of free floating bone particle in there.

That's the last time I signal for someone to forcefully punt a ball at my face.

No Will Power

2008-04-18T14:08:00.004-04:00

I just got convinced to buy tickets to and attend a Bryan Adams concert.

Discuss.

The 5 Tibetan Rites are Wrong

2008-04-08T13:07:00.004-04:00

So yesterday I read an article about 5 rites that Tibetan monks do everyday that supposedly helps them live such long and healthy lives.

I want to live a long and healthy life - so I figured I'd give them a try. They're mini exercises - similar to yoga type stretches and poses. I read the warning about starting off slow to see how your body responds - but i ignored that (given the top notch physical shape i am currently in, naturally).

Well - I did them this morning and by the time i got to work today I was unable to breathe deeply, yawn, laugh or make sudden movements without excruciating pain. Those silly monks are flexible (and feisty! remember we saw that one breaking windows?!!).

Anyway, i swear I'm allergic to yoga. 2 years ago when i took up yoga [to deal with commuting to work from home and you joining some crazy organization] i was unable to walk without pain in my back for months! that is not healthy! my back is fine when i DON'T stretch it! it's when i start messing with it that it acts up.

monks are crazy.

About Communion

2008-04-06T15:01:00.004-04:00

So, today was one of the rare days I felt compelled to try to take communion again. All the talk today about the Last Supper and Easter and receiving the body of Christ was very inspiring! I think today was my last attempt however, until (if I decide to in the future) I am baptized as a catholic, and go through rigorous ritual training with you!

This time I got one part right - I said amen, BUT it was awkward 'cause when I walked up, the guy was looking at me like I was supposed to do something before he said "body of Christ". [am i supposed to do the whole cross thing or something? i saw some people do that - but I feel really wrong doing that as a protestant! I'd probably do it wrong anyway and go to my right 1st or something. that's wrong, right??!] SO, after a long pause he says "body of Christ" and I say AMEN very proudly.

Then I had a flashback to church growing up where we (or the pastor) would actually break the bread before we ate it. ha - so I instinctively pressed down on my "bread" to snap it before I put it in my mouth. Well, I guess Catholic bread is harder than baptist bread because the thing cracked into a million pieces in my hand! I didn't know what to do - so as I was walking away trying to stop myself from laughing out loud, I cupped my hand, threw back my head and tried to discreetly accept my crumpled portion of the "body of Christ". Once again, everyone else was doing the whole criss-cross and letting the bread dissolve in their mouths, and I was walking back chewing and confused.

That was my third and final failed attempt at accepting communion at a catholic church.

A New Purpose

2008-04-06T14:37:00.000-04:00

SO, Mr. P, instead of overflowing your inbox with emails this deployment - I'm going to write on here whenever I get the urge to write long emails of a non-urgent nature about random things [i think that encompasses about 95% of my emails...]

You can respond by either commenting or posting.

You should post too whenever you feel like writing to me about your daily musings. I dunno what your internet access is like, so maybe it will just be me talking to myself! It'll be cool to have a dialog on record, though.

ttyl

Welcome

2007-09-25T11:45:00.000-04:00

Hi MJ,

this is the

soapbox
–noun
1. Also, soap box. an improvised platform, as one on a street, from which a speaker delivers an informal speech, an appeal, or political harangue.
–adjective
2. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a speaker or speech from a soapbox.

- where you can rant and rave about anything anonymously. i have old emails of yours i can post to start you off - and then you can use it as your personal platform for commentary and general ridiculousness.

use it often! use it well! make me rich.